Page 29 - Issue 05 2nd edition
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Try to rest in the present moment, be • connecting to creativity through
present, be here and now, and be kind to working on your home and garden,
whatever emerges. And try to remember baking, blogging, writing, knitting,
to relax and be in the moment with sewing, or crocheting, or through a
whatever activity you choose! visual art like drawing, painting, or
ceramics
Another approach would be to schedule in • connecting to learning through evening
half an hour of me-time in your diary and classes—further and higher education
treat it as if it were as important as a or skill sharing
meeting or deadline. The truth is that you
will perform much better if you have had • connecting to animals, birds, and
that time. You don’t even necessarily need insects—beekeeping is an increasingly
half an hour—on a busy day, just five popular hobby, for example, or you
minutes of sitting still and doing nothing could try nurturing a rescue animal
can be a real tonic. Press the These ways of connecting are
pause button for a moment to Try to rest in the not “fragments…shored
see what you need. present moment, against my ruins” (T. S. Eliot),
but bold steps into a new
Forming new connections can be present, be world where we matter
also be a way to renew and here and now, and enough to support ourselves,
refresh ourselves, and this can be kind to to enjoy ourselves and have
be as important as resting and fun, and to connect and see
relaxing. Finding something whatever that we are worthy of living a
that connects us to the wider emerges. life of meaning.
world and to our human tribe,
to life, and to joy can be transformative, E. M. Forster wrote in Howards End
and there are so many ways we can (written in 1910, and with a wonderful
connect and reconnect. childless heroine in Margaret Schlegel),
“Only connect! ...Live in fragments no
As well as connecting outwards, it is also longer.” We matter, and our experiences
important to connect inwards—to make matters, and being bold and brave enough
space for our feelings and to hold them to connect can help us to learn this for the
with compassion and love. Not only are first time or to relearn it after the often
our feelings an essential, natural, and traumatic and painful journey through
inescapable part of being human, they are childlessness.
completely OK, and they are not going to
break us. They are a normal response to Some restful things you could try:
the losses and changes we have
experienced. 1. One Minute Relaxation Tips
You can try: • Take three deep breaths, being
conscious of how your breath feels as it
• connecting to nature through leaves and re-enters your body. Say
gardening, walking, swimming, something kind to yourself, such as
running, or cycling “You’re doing really well today.” If you
• connecting to people through voluntary are having a hard time, remind yourself
work or groups such as Meetup who it will pass.
link those with common interests • Hug a person or a pet, or ask for a hug.
• connecting to change by getting 2. Three Minute Relaxation Tips
involved in campaigning on local,
national, or international social and • Try a Breathing Space exercise from
environmental issues the Mindfulness work of Jon Kabat-
Zinn.
The Childless Not By Choice Magazine: Sept/Oct 2018 Issue #05 29
