Page 33 - Issue 05 2nd edition

confidence and anxiety groups. If you can • Is the group secular (non-religious) or
think of a group focus I am sure you will faith-based?
be able to find a group on Facebook!
3. Questions to ask after joining the
On-line drawbacks: most of the groups group
are on Facebook so when you are feeling
vulnerable you have to run the gauntlet of • Did the group make me feel included
triggering photographs. In addition, the and support?
increased anonymity that on-line groups
provide can increase the likelihood of • Do I feel safe and comfortable sharing
aggressive or inappropriate behaviour. I my experiences and thoughts with the
would like to say that because people who group?
are CNBC have been through so much • Do I feel that I am respected in the
that bullying doesn’t occur: however, I group?
have personal experience that it does.
• Do I understand what’s expected of
2. Questions to ask before joining group members?
• Does the group have clear rules or
The following questions are relevant to guidelines?
any groups:
• Am I learning helpful ways to cope with
• Is the group accepting new members? my concerns?

• Is there a criterion for joining? • Am I being provided with good, helpful
information?
• What checks are done to ensure that
you meet any criteria? • Do I enjoy the group?
• What is done to protect • Do I see benefit in
the confidentially of the The groups that being part of the group?
members? were vital to you • Do I have any

• What are the group rules? when you were concerns about
confidentiality?
• Who are the “admins” or feeling overwhelmed
leaders? by your grief will • Do I feel that my
privacy is being respected?
• What “qualifications” do start to take a back
they have that makes you seat and you will be • Is the group
confident in their abilities leader/admin doing a good
to lead the group? able to take more of job monitoring the group
especially in relation to
an active role in inappropriate behaviour?
The following questions are groups of a more
only relevant to face-to-face
meetings: social nature. You may find that as you
really start to heal that you
• How does the group structure its spend less time in certain groups and
meeting? more times in others. This is to be
expected. You will need different types of
• What does a typical meeting look like? support as you move forwards. The

• What kind of experiences are usually groups that were vital to you when you
seen at meetings? were feeling overwhelmed by your grief
will start to take a back seat and you will
• What topics are included in discussions? be able to take more of an active role in
• Is the group affiliated with any groups of a more social nature.
organisations or programs?

The Childless Not By Choice Magazine: Sept/Oct 2018 Issue #05 33