Page 12 - Issue 05 2nd edition

pole either—I live about an hour outside there that can be built and nurtured with
of New York City. The two Gateway people who have children. To be heard,
groups in and around Manhattan may be accepted, and heck, integrated by people
possibilities for the future, but not feasible who get to be parents is healing in its own
for me to get to now as I grapple with an right.
autonomic nervous system disorder. On
top of it all, because my family is being “But what kind of situations do you feel
severely negatively impacted by the best in? What works for you?” my
unjust immigration policies of the therapist inquired. I had been sharing my
administration currently running the observations of the different social needs
United States, I’ve recently come to terms between parents and non-parents. I often
with the fact I cannot associate deeply find people who are raising children come
with people who are indifferent to this and to social situations, understandably,
thus expect me to keep it out of the generally distracted and inattentive. They
conversation. Yes, in are coming from the need
addition to involuntary What works best for me of getting away from the
childlessness, the rest of are close associations kids, with the aim of
life is still happening! possibly relaxing and
with people who have squeezing in some light-
It’s also important to been through similar hearted adult social time. I
remember that a group of come from the place of
generally caring, experiences in terms of missing a relationship with
supportive, and funny involuntary my children as I
women is not always an childlessness, who are painstakingly attempt
immediate fit. resurrection, thus needing
Personalities and outside intimately familiar with deep conversation and
interests also have to gel. their own grief, and connection. It’s no one’s
The truth is that for all of people with whom I also fault necessarily but it
the work we have to do as needs to be acknowledged
of now to find our tribe, have other things in that this attempted
what that equates to, common. convergence initiates from
initially, is an even playing two such different places.
field that we don’t get to
experience while associating with the My answer to my therapist?
parenting world. To get the community
that parents are handed via their societal “What works best for me are close
visibility and through their children’s associations with people who have been
activities, we have to Skype over oceans, through similar experiences in terms of
fly across continents, and start our own involuntary
groups from scratch. So as someone who childlessness, who
has yet to start one herself, I are intimately
hypocritically advocate for people to start familiar with their
and participate in more groups. The own grief, and
isolation our tribe deals with is one thing people with whom I
we can actually do a little something also have other
about. things in common.
My tribe, in other
“Building connection with identity groups words. That’s where
is a great way to turn the tables on I feel most at
invisibility and stereotypes.” —Brenee home.”
Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me

Though a break from the tribal theme, www.infertilityhonesty.com
there are those rare relationships out

12 The Childless Not By Choice Magazine: Sept/Oct 2018 Issue #05