Page 17 - Issue 05 2nd edition

and searched for meetups in my area empathy, compassion, and relief I felt while
relating to childlessness and infertility— communicating with my tribe was mind-
surely there would be at least a few because blowing. I went from the blackest pits of
I live near a major city—but came up grief to seeing a bright, golden light at the
empty-handed. That's when I turned to end of the tunnel in a relatively short time,
social media. and it was mainly due to those connections.
I no longer felt alone—there were others
Not many of my acquaintances like me!
know my struggles and The amount of
experiences with infertility— empathy, And I felt free to express
something I am working on myself without worrying about
overcoming and becoming compassion, and how it would be perceived. For
more vocal about. But in the relief I felt while example, I could say how left
depths of my despair I communicating with out I felt at a gathering where
certainly didn't want everyone the main topic of conversation
I knew on Facebook to see my tribe was mind- was parenting without
that I'd joined infertility blowing worrying about offending any
groups—which would have friends who have children. I
resulted in a lot of questions from a lot of could say how sad I felt holding my
people—because I just wasn’t ready to partner’s brother’s baby in my arms without
share my story with the world at that point. wondering if that person would then not be
comfortable around me. I could vent and
I wanted to set up a separate Facebook share sorrows and I wasn’t judged.
account for my infertility identity, but
Facebook doesn't allow you to have more While having a tribe allows us the freedom
than one personal account. I then turned to to discuss our shared hardships, the
Twitter, though I didn't have much hope for surprising thing is that our tribe mostly
it either as I use my Twitter account mostly discusses positive things! In our
for business, and that certainly wouldn’t be #CanbaceLife Twitter chats, we discuss our
the appropriate place for airing and sharing recent accomplishments and things that
my fertility woes. But Twitter, luckily, allows have happened during the week. Sometimes
you to have multiple accounts. I set up one we will share something that made us feel
just for infertility and I was off and away, sad or angry, such as an insensitive remark
making connections all over the place! or an emotional obstacle, and there is
instant support and complete
I found a wonderful network of friends on understanding. But mainly, we just talk
Twitter. After following others like me, I about the good things in life, big or small,
found peace and relief just reading through as friends do! It’s just great to chat about
my feed on a daily basis. It was nice to read anything, positive
comments from others who were sharing or negative, with
the ups and downs of trying to conceive and people who have
life after infertility. I started just reading walked in your
others’ tweets and also reading the blog shoes. There’s
posts that they shared, and then I started nothing else quite
commenting and sharing myself. I joined a as healing.
Twitter chat where I felt instantly
comfortable opening up and sharing what
I’d been through with people who really
understood. I had finally found my tribe! Twitter ID @Beyondinfert
This was almost two months after that
fateful phone call—two months after I’d
given up on my dream. The amount of

The Childless Not By Choice Magazine: Sept/Oct 2018 Issue #05 17