Page 9 - CNBC Mag Free Issue Edition 6

We have shed many a tear, when at a low Something that I have come to cherish is
ebb, almost convincing ourselves how
nasty and selfish we must be. It is an
easy trap to fall into, conditioned by those
around you to live “their” life and not your
own. It takes guts and a thick skin to
weather this storm, but last Christmas we
stayed true to OUR needs. So, believing
that we couldn’t have done more to
educate those around us of our situation,
we shut those shutters.
Why did I share this with you?
We realised that survival starts with us,
no matter how we looked at it. We are
different and that’s an important factor we
needed to recognise and internalise. Once
we had this squared away, we needed to
get the message out to all those near and
dear to us. I know this is easier said than
done, but we knew we had to rise above
that self-imposed stigma that being
childless can create, and let those near
and dear know exactly how we felt and
why.
Let them know you are different. Let them
know you will not see the world the way
they do, and let them know all the happy
milestones of their lives that revolve
around children will have the opposite
effect on you.
I bet there are some of you cringing right
now, thinking how uncomfortable it would
be to do that and undermining yourself by
saying you won’t have the strength.
The Childless Not By Choice Magazine: Launch Issue
a lesson taught to me by some acting
classes I took many years ago. Standing
on the stage can be such a terrifying
ordeal. You feel exposed and vulnerable,
until you realise that you are the one with
the power and you are the one in control.
Everyone in the audience is in awe of you
up on the stage because they believe it is
something they could not do. Your skill as
an actor delivering the lines has the ability
to control their emotions. Living that overt
life is not too far removed from this
situation.
Having the courage to speak up and not
hide will leave those around you in awe of
your strength. Granted they may not
vocalise that as it might make them feel
awkward. And yes, there will always be
those that will not listen, as we have
experienced, and just not want to
understand your behaviour because it is
not what THEY want from you, but stand
strong and believe in yourself.
What I’d like to leave you with, not only
for surviving Christmas but all those other
occasions we find difficult, is this: grasp
hold of your story and yell it from the
street corner, metaphorically of course, to
those around you. Use your truth, yes
yours, as the torch that lights your way to
freedom, to bring liberty from the stigma
of being different, and live YOUR life.
Now go and spread your story.
Follow Michael’s blog at
www.marriedandchildless.com
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