When I first found out about the “We are worthy” theme in World Childless Week I thought this would be something that Andrew could write about. Fortunately, he agreed and was up for the challenge. Little did he know that it really would be a challenge. Whilst doing his research into past and present people who are childless-not-by-choice who have made a positive impact on the world (so are worthy) he hit a bit of a brick wall.
The first challenge was that when you search on the Internet for “Famous men who aren’t fathers” all of the results came back as “Famous fathers and their sons”. Slight technical hitch there then. Eventually he did find some great sites full of useful information (see the list below) yet it was really difficult to verify if someone was childless by choice or not. Where there was additional information it was usually about the women and their reason for not having children.
As most of the people that Andrew identified were women it seemed to make sense for me to write about this. Andrew did a valiant effort in the first draft: however, writing about women from a bloke’s point of view wasn’t really hitting the mark. He is involved in the video though!
Why don’t we believe we are worthy?
When you longed for a child for years, have been proactive in attempting to conceive and all you get is a “big fat negative” it can make us feel like failures. It is a basic biological imperative to procreate and pass your genes onto future generations. We’ve not be able to fulfil. In one way or another our bodies have failed us and as they are “OUR” bodies we feel responsible for it. Even when things are totally outside of our control.
For many years infertility stole my identity, sucked out any sparkle and left an empty shell. My self-confidence was in tatters, I felt numb and colourless. There was no way that I felt worthy. Fortunately, that has all changed now because I have started to be proactive finding ways of healing my emotional wounds. I’ve found the support and friendship of people in the two Facebook groups that I belong too. Due to World Childless Week some of those friendships have developed into ones that will last a lifetime. My sense of being worthy is returning. If it can happen to me, it can happy to you, because whilst I know that I am worthy I am by no means special.
Childless Path to Acceptance Facebook Support Group
Childless Chit Chat Facebook Social Group
We are worthy and should have a voice
I’ve been doing so many videos over the last few days that my webcam is now officially my best friend! So, I’m not going to write any more here. I feel that the rest of what Andrew and I want to say about “we are worthy” really should be in a video.
We are worthy links
https://www.thecut.com/2014/08/25-famous-women-on-childlessness.html
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/kim-cattralls-aha-moment
http://www.populationmatters.org/documents/prominent_women.pdf?fref=gc&dti=1765615250402871
http://www.odditycentral.com/news/the-childless-indian-woman-who-mothered-hundreds-of-trees.html
http://lifewithoutbaby.com/2015/06/01/tree-planting-non-motherhood-2/?fref=gc&dti=1765615250402871
http://nkohk.forumotion.net/t16-the-long-list-of-childfree-and-childless-in-history
When Andrew and I first heard about World Childless Week I knew that we needed to be involved and support Stephanie Phillips as much as possible in this new venture. We’d been feeling frustrated for some time that the childless-not-by-choice were marginalised and a forgotten sector of society. We were also frustrated that much of the support available and the awareness weeks is focused on improving fertility rather than how to deal with unresolved infertility or the other reasons for being childless-not-by-choice.
To find out more about World Childless Week and join in the discussions please visit the World Childless Week Facebook Page.